Sausage Mahoney.

Elbows Unique Now, Meet the New Me

So those of you whose Venn diagrams include an overlap between a) hip-hop and b) comedy should go here immediately and read the simile-heavy ravings of some guy credibly pretending to be Ghostface Killah.  He spends a lot of time brutally ripping on soft-ass rappers (most of whom I have to admit I like despite their conceded soft-ass-ness, sorry fake Ghost).  Highlights include:

• Several posts expressing intense disdain for Aubrey Drake Graham, whom he asserts "be havin Grey Poupon milkshakes namsayin."  Also "you stab that nigga n you gon get yogurt on ya blade n shit."
• A list of suggested song titles, including the U-God/Snoop Dogg collabo "Porcupine Hurricanes" and "Kill Yallz (f. Paula Abdul)."
• And, of course, the long-awaited Tony Starks Interview with Barack Obama.

Trust me, it's much more rewarding than that faux Chris Walken Twitter feed.

Do It for the Kids

A suggestion to my readership, all seven of you: if you dig music, and enjoy ranking things—in other words, if you're a nerd like me—and especially if you're bored with what passes for music criticism these days, you might want to consider voting in Tris McCall's annual Critics Poll.  It's not just for residents of North Jersey anymore.  Voting closes on January 26.

Styles Bitten/Lessons Learned

I swear I had no idea this page existed when I started this thing.  It appears to be inactive, fortunately.  I am hoping we can avoid litigation.